Confused about the future

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Im really lost right now. A year ago I got my first job at a movie theater. I met alot of new people. I started making friends and it felt good. I also met a guy who seemed really fun and sweet at first. We became really good friends working together. A few weeks into our friendship we both admitted that we liked each other but he had a girlfriend. So we decided to stay friends because I wasnt about to be the cause of a break-up. In August the last night before he went away to college he told me I was important to him and that he was confused between me and his girlfriend. A few weeks later he and his girlfriend break up. He and I had talked that entire time and we got really close. Though since he was in college we planned to date once I joined him in college. Everything was great for awhile. We talked all the time. But he was also very confusing about his feelings. He blames all his issues on his first real girlfriend who treated him very badly. He told me once that ever since her he hadn't been the same. He told me really did love her. I loved talking to him it was so easy and comfortable. But after awhile he started meeting other people at college. He distanced himself from me for awhile. Which I understood but was still jealous of the other girls. And then he came back all into me and telling all this stuff of how he really liked me, how I was the only one he thought of, etc. He invited me over to spend the night with him once. I did and it was a really fun time. I mean nothing happeneded I got the sense he wanted something to happen. But I wasn't ready. A week later he lost his job and got really distant. We started fighting alot and he ended with me. He never even said anything to me for three weeks. I tried emailing him until I gave up because he never responded. Until one day he wrote me an email saying that it would be better for me without him in my life. He soon afterwards got another girlfriend and was with her for a very long time. All this happeneded in October. He showed up with her at the movies once when I was working. It was very hard to handle. In May he apologized telling me how sorry for treating me so badly and how I didn't deserve it, and how he wanted to be friends. So I tried to give him another chance. But then two nights later he once again got weird but he was still with his girlfriend. So I became very upset and went off on him. I haven't spoken or heard from him since. Ive tried moving on. But its just hard when there is no one. I think about him all the time. A few weeks ago he showed up to work again. I heard from a co-worker he wanted to talk to me and be friends again. He and his girlfriend broke up. But his best friend who I also work with wouldn't let him talk to me. I just don't know what to think. I wish he would grow up and we could start over. I just need advice. Ive suffered enough. I just need to understand why he is this way. Advice
Since he wants to be friends again, contact him and suggest going out to dinner together. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You said you were planning on attending the same college this year. So much the better.

He does seem to be somewhat immature, but he is still young. Now that he has his first year of college under his belt, he should be more mature. If you do start seeing each other again, be sure to encourage his mature behavior and discourage his poor actions.

Be positive! Things can change overnight.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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