She missed the spark, she left.

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm 20 she's 18. We were dating for 6 months. It was great, we had our little fights like every couple does but i know no relationship is perfect.

Anyways, here's what happened, we were talking one day and she was saying that there was no spark there. I told her that well that feeling wears off in time, and then she said that well my heart says we shouldn't be together. I tryed to convince her otherwise but she wouldn't stop to think, she would just say no, I made my decision.

We had a great time together, I never saw one moment that looked like she didn't want to be with me. She said she had an amazing time with me. We did alot and looking forward to do alot. Communication was good, sex was good, she was happy i was happy. I just don't understand why she would do that all of a sudden.

I know it could be because of some other guy but i doubt that. She loves me I love her but she won't give it a chance, time, just to see what would happen.

What do I do? Should I just give her space to figure out what she wants or just leave it. It just feels wrong not to be with her cause she's throwing away what could of been a promising relationship. Advice
I would send her along my page on the normal stages a relationship goes through -

if she thinks a relationship has a "spark" that lasts throughout decades of life just like it did when you were 17, she's sadly mistaken!! That is merely the LUST stage of a relationship that gets it going. People would burn out if they lived like that all the time! Relationships mature into a more solid form of love which involves trust, honesty and reliability. That is what survives the ups and downs of real life.

It does sound like she's spark chasing which, while fun, is no way to be satisfied long term in life. Having someone you can believe in and rely on is far more rewarding. I would really talk with her and find out if this spark issue was really what was wrong, or if it was something else more tangible that she simply refuses to tell you about.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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