Cheating & commitment

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Iíve been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He is my first boyfriend but we are really close and are living together and we are heading towards marriage. I was always worried I would wonder what it would be like to be with someone else, but I love my boyfriend so didnít want to split up with him to find out.
I am now cheating on him. I am not even sure if I like him that much but I think I might be doing it for the attention and for the experience. Now I am nearly about to strike up a relationship with another person, to whom I am really attracted to. I donít know whatís happening to me. I want to marry my boyfriend, he is perfect, but I want to have relationships with all these people, and I get scared when I think of committing to him.
I also cannot tell my boyfriend about the cheating as I may damage him emotionally beyond repair. I canít bear loosing my boyfriend, but I am also terrified of committing.
This sounds ridiculous, but should I keep cheating to get it out of my system? Advice
If you have gotten the cheating out of your system, it is time to tell him the truth. If he is so selfish to only think of his own pain then he is not worthy of your love. True love goes two ways and he has to hold up his end of the bargain.

It won't be easy, of course, but if your relationship is to last, he must be told. This will also reduce your need for cheating since you are honor bound to tell him whenever you feel like cheating.

On the other hand, ask yourself how you would feel if he were cheating. If you could not forgive him then you may understand how he would feel. My advice is to trust each other to be honest. We all make mistakes and in a loving relationship should be forgiven. Anything less is not true love.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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