Am I Too Much For HIm??
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Well I really hope that you can help me because I'm so confused right now. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, and we've never really had any significant problems, and we've never had any intimacy problems.. it seems anywa. A few months ago it started to seem like he was kinda withdrawing. I asked him why it seemed like he didn't want to kiss me anymore, and why his hugs had changed and he replied "I don't like the way people see us now", but before it wasn't a problem. and then a second time he said "we kiss so much it's not even special anymore". It was kinda stranged to me, and it seems like he's so wishy washy about it. Whether we're in public or not sometimes he kisses me, sometimes he doesnt, sometimes he grabs my hand sometimes not, sometimes he'll pull me close and hold me there.. and sometimes he'll push me away. I'm not sure what to make of this. It just seems like whatever his mood is he'll go with it, sometimes he'll fall asleep with me in him arms all night, and sometimes his back to me. I've been trying to figure out what this has been about for a while, but it doesn't really make sense to me. He tells me he loves me no matter what though, without question. I know that should be enough but i'm starting to wonder if i'm scaring him off, or if i'm just too affectionate for him. And any time I've tried to adress it, he becomes really offended... For example he'll half ass a kiss and then I'll ask for a real one and he becomes really upset saying "That was a real one!" Is there any way I can adress this? Or is it just the way he is? I'm so confused, and as petty as this is, it just kinda hurts my feelings sometime with the rejection..
You should be getting as much affection as you need. It doesn't sound like you are wanting too much affection.
Since this problem has only arisen a few months ago, something must be eating at him. You are right to want to discuss this with him and it is even more worrisome that he reacts so strongly to your efforts to talk with him.
Somehow you will need to get him to share his feelings with you. If he was always this way it would be one thing, but he needs to acknowledge that this is a recent change.
Try to keep the discussion calm and level-headed... he won't react well if you try to discuss it when you are upset. Wait for an opportunity when you are in a good mood. It still won't be easy, but it might help some.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Sit him down