Is he On the Rebound?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
This guy I've been hanging out with for a while (known him for years, but now we're getting together every weekend, just the two of us, for a few hours mostly just talking) who I care about as much more than just a friend still seems to be stuck on his ex. One night, I asked him about it, he said he wasn't sure how he felt about her (but it sounded like he still wanted to be dating her).

The next day, it came up in conversation again, and I told him how I felt and that I would try to get over it because I didn't want to mess up our friendship. And he said that he really likes me a lot as well, but he feels like he would be betraying something if he were to move on from this.

Now, I don't intend to push him or anything like that, but he hasn't mentioned her since (we've only talked online, haven't gotten to see him), and he's a lot more verbally affectionate (not sure how to put that correctly, but I'm sure you know what I mean. In a nice way, not anything sexual or whatever). Point is, I don't know if I should back out to keep from getting hurt or not.

If he would rather be with her, then I don't want to date him, but I really don't know how he feels about her. I'm thrilled that he likes me, but I would feel so much better if I could be more secure about us rather than it being like there's another girl helping control where I stand with him...please help. Thank you! Advice
He definitely sounds like he's still on the rebound from her, but if you guys take things slowly it may be just what he needs to get him dragged out of it. He may realize that what she had was nice ... but that obviously she wasn't right for him (since they aren't together now) and that you are a great partner for him.

I would definitely not rush things, but I wouldn't hold back completely either. You guys get along well, talk a lot, enjoy each other's company. Those are the keys to a great relationship. Keep working on it and see how things go!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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