My girl and her guy friend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been dating this girl for over 6 months now and I have been encountering jealousy because of some of her guy friends. She has a bad track record with guy friends from the past that turned out to just want to get in her pants. Therefore, any guy friend she has now I will not trust. In fact, I believe any guy that has a girl as only a friend is at least somewhat attracted to girl that is a friend, even though if he knows its only a friendship. I, as a guy, know that I would not bother having a friend that is a girl unless she is somewhat attractive and I know that I can sweep her off her feet one day. Maybe this view is skewed but I donít trust any guy friends to be entirely honest.
But back to my situation. It is uncomfortable to me for her to hang out with her friend alone and it is hard for her to understand why I am so jealous of this. I have told her plenty of times that I have no reason to trust any of her guy friends and it consumes me against her. She claims that she is not attracted to him and I have no reason to believe that she would ever give him the idea of anything more than a friendship. I just feel uncomfortable because I donít know this guy at all.
Sometimes I feel bad because she is a social bird and likes to have a lot of friends and I know I have constricted that a bit. Though, she has been burned because she likes to blab about her personal life drama and it comes back to bite her. Often it comes from her supposed guy friends so this lead to my insecurity and hostility towards any remaining guy friends. Please help.
You are concentrating on the guys.
Try thinking about your girlfriend more. You say you trust her but don't trust the guys (and I don't blame you, in general.) It takes two to tango, and your girl isn't going to tango so put it out of your mind.
I know how hard this will be to do, so just suck up your gut and deal with it. She sounds like a keeper and you would not want to drive her away with your bad feelings.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com