We Used to Fight a Lot, I Want him Back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and i have been broke up for 7 months. I have a daughter by him and i really want to get him back. The reason we really broke up is because i use to fight him every time he did something i didn't like, i deeply regret it and i am a changed person now, i know now how to handle my situations differently.
I have tried everything to get him back in the past 7 months and nothing has worked. He says that he has moved on with his life and he doesn't want to go back. Is the anything that i could do to get him back or to change the way he feels about us. Or is it to late.
Fighting is a HUGELY destructive force in a relationship. MTV makes us think that loud fights are normal in life. But they're not. They're a sign that something is seriously wrong in a relationship, and as you saw, usually someone ends up leaving the stress that it causes.
He is very right to want to lead a fighting-free life. And you say that you've really worked on becoming a new better person that does not fight like that. While you can tell him all you want that you are changed, the only way for him to really REALIZE that is for you to show him.
So work on just being his friend again - no stress, no push for a relationship. Spend time with him, have dinner with him, talk to him about life. The more you spend time together, the more he'll realize that it's the same person he loved before - but without the fighting. He'll remember how much he enjoyed the good times, and he'll see that the bad times won't happen again. If you take it slow, it can work. But you have to spend that time with him to really show him that you HAVE changed and can deal with anger in a better way.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com