I Want to Stay Friends with My Ex
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I am 20 year old guy and I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. We knew things weren't ok for some time before we broke up but we just seemed to stay together because we knew we still loved eachother and thought we would stay together despite our problems. Towards the end of the relationship i began to drive my girlfriend crazy the things she used to love about me turned into the things she really couldnt stand about me. Right towards the end my girlfriend broke it off and a few days later came back to me. After this i thought things were ok again but within a week she told me when she was out with her friends drinking she had got with another guy. I had already suspected she was finding new people she was interested in at UNI so I told her it was probably time we ended it and she agreed.
We were really good friends also and promised eachother we would stay close. Admittedly i took the breakup worse than she did and it got me down for a while not having her in my life anymore. I didnt try keep in touch with her other than occasional conversations on the net because i knew thats not what she wanted at that point because she had just found a new guy and it probably wasnt the best for me to stay in contact.
Months later now I have a new job and i am ready to move on in my life because i have become interetsted again in other girls. The only thing i find sad is that my ex never wants to talk to me. We were so close and shared so many times together it just makes me sad to think somone who knew me so well and said theyd also stay close cut our ties and avoids any contact with me. I know shes got a new bf and shes busy it would just be nice to chat to her for 10 mins sometimes but i guess she still sees me as the ex. What do you think i should do? i dont wanna seem to her that i want to get back together because i dont i just miss her friendship. Any advice on how to get her to treat me like a friend?
It could be that she feels worried that she'd lead you on and upset you. It could also be that her new boyfriend is really jealous and would make her feel upset when she talked with you. I'd give it another month or two, when you had a new girlfriend. Then you could strike up a casual conversation with her and let her know that you've got someone new of your own - that you're clearly not after her to get her back. That might make her more comfortable in having you as a friend, if she knows that you've already got a girlfriend and aren't chasing her down.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com