Should I stay or should I go?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My name is M, I have been married since October 14, 2006. My husband has an old friend he has known for 7 years she is a girl... Back when they first meet she had a boyfriend and she wrote my husband a letter saying " That she was in love with him and wanted to have his kids." And, as far as I know the only thing they did back then was kiss. So, I am on bedrest in the hospital and I have never really gotten along with the girl. But, she would come and visit me everyday around the time my husband was going out to get our food and he would ask her if she would like to ride with him to go an get our food. I finally got upset over it and told him I did not think it was approprate for them to be going together in the car by themselves. After that one Monday she sent him a text message and ask him if he would bring her a cookie? Once, he went and took the cookie to her she said she could not leave her job(which was just across the street)because she was the only one working(which she worked in a little high end boutique). So, I told him that was not right that she could have gotten her own cookie and he agreeded. So, for about 2 or 3 weeks they have not talked. About 3 days ago she went on a date with a guy he worked with and my husband decided to call her to see how the date went.. He was honest with me and did tell me he called her, but I am upset over the situation and, people keep telling me I am overreacting with all this and, acting like I am in High School. Am I doing the right thing by telling him I am upset over the situation? We have a 15 month old at home and one on the way and I am not sure if I need to stay in this relationship or if it is best I leave him because of this girl... I trust my husband but, I dont trust this girl. My husband doesnt like for me to bring it up and talk about it because he thinks i am overacting. I am not sure what I need to do from here? I have said something to both of them about my feelings but, it just seems to continue. Advice
Your husband is being inconsiderate of your feelings.

You are pregnant and your hormones are not normal and you are not normal. He should be very careful to keep you happy.

However, thinking about leaving him is going to far. He hasn't done anything close to deserving that (unless he is failing you in other ways.) Consider how difficult it would be for you to subsist with two children on your own.

Explain to him calmly that you will not put up with his hanging around this woman because you don't trust her.

Consider also that your feelings for him may be driving him away. You are ready to leave him which means you don't like him very much. He probably detects that and is searching for affection elsewhere.

Go to a professional counselor with him as soon as possible and get help.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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