How can I show him that we're not doing anything wrong?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Ok...I've been dating this guy for a little over 7 months, and he's incredible. We love each other, we are best friends, and he is incredibly respectful. The problem is, sometimes he tries TOO hard to be respectful, if that makes sense. We haven't done anything sexual, which I'm fine with, I absolutely believe in waiting. I've never even seen him with his shirt off. But when we do anything more than just kissing (like... when he touches my butt), we both enjoy it in the moment and know that it's not going to lead to anything more. But after a day or so, he starts to feel really guilty, like he's hurting me or taking advantage of me in some way. He's even worried about my swimsuit because I guess he's afraid it's going to make him think of me more in THAT way (his grandparents have invited me to their pool with him and his sisters).
So, my question is, how do I make him see that there's nothing wrong with what we do, that there's nothing wrong with him just looking at me in a swimsuit, because we both truly care about each other and neither of us is going to let anything happen.
Have a short talk with him and basically tell him that you understand that he is being respectful of you and that you appreciate it.
But you want him to know that you both know nothing is going to happen so he should feel comfortable doing things with you and if he does something you don't like you won't be angry but you will just tell him you are uncomfortable with what he is doing. Also tell him not to be shy about seeing you in a swimsuit.
It may be difficult at first, but you will learn that talking things over really make a positive difference in every relationship. Might as well start doing it now.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com