Jealous of Boyfriend's past

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years and living together for two. He is a wonderful boyfriend in every way, but it has taken us some time to get there. When we first started dating, he had another girlfriend behind my back he never told me about until a few months into our relationship, and a couple of months after he broke up with her.

He is older and has been with many more partners than me, both serious and flings, and his experience over mine drives me crazy and makes me depressed a lot of the time. He has been patient with me, but my concern with his past is starting to wear him down. One particular ex of his makes me particularly crazy because they had many unique experiences together and was the only other woman he ever lived with.

I know this question has been asked before by others, and will probably warrant the same advice, but my situation is slightly different. I feel that my jealousy comes from still being young(25 years old) and not feeling like I have been with enough men myself yet, or lived out enough special experiences as a single girl yet. I feel like I could marry this man eventually, and I love him so much and we get along famously otherwise. But I feel like I will miss out on so many experiences that I can never again have in my youth if I stay with him.

Help! Advice
This concern affects both men and women and if not dealt with, it can lead to misery later on when, for example, they are married.

These feelings are already causing trouble between you. My advice is to seek professional counseling for the two of you and be honest about your feelings. You two may decide that a year's separation is what you need or maybe not. Talk this out until you find a solution that you think will work.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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