Crossing the line
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
So my question is about what is crossing the line when it comes to hanging out with members of the opposite sex when in a relationship. A little background: my girlfriend has a rough history with, lets call him Sam. They never officially dated, but she had a major crush on him for months and he led her on for weeks before telling her he was not interested. This was about a month and a half before me and my girlfriend began to date. Before we dated, we were close friends, so i was the one she went to for help to get over sam. Now after we began dating, her and him began to become close friends again, doing the same things they did that allowed my girlfriend to fall for him in the first place, such as watching movies, flirting, ect... Now more recently when i come back from a trip (we are in college and i am on an athletic team, so i travel every other weekend or so)i find her watching movies with him, in his room, behind a closed door. She always comes out and to welcome me home, but then she ask me if it is ok if she finishes the movie, and then goes back to his room to finish watching the movie. While they watch the movie i sit in my room waiting for them to finish, usually a couple hours, and the whole time i am almost going crazy with my jealousy. She knows this bothers me and this exact scenario has happened a few times. She always come back and reassures me that everything is ok and that she does not like him, but they just get along really well. Well sam is also a friend of mine and while these "movie nights" where taking place he confided in me that he is lonely now and that he wants a girlfriend. Now my question is whether or not my girlfriend has crossed the line. I am sure some of my problems stem from just being a jealous boyfriend. But i want to know whether my girlfriend has crossed the line or not with sam. Sorry this is kinda long, and i have left out some details becuase i dont want to make you guys read an eight page paper, but i appreciate any comments or suggestions.
Watching movies with a male friend is not crossing the line.
However, since it makes you uncomfortable an adjustment needs to be made. My suggestion is that you begin to watch the movies with them. Show the movies in your room, if possible, and if not go to his room.
This should satisfy your jealousy and hopefully eliminate the pain you are suffering. Since she has nothing to hide, she should be happy to have you near.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com