how do i get over an ex ??

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Iím in a sticky and long complicated situation. I would like my ex back but I doubt it will happen, so I need advise on how to get over him. When I was 15 I had a child of 3 months, this is when I met my ex, he had a child of a year and we used to take the kids out and really enjoy our time together. He was 21. Things went wrong when I told my ex I couldnít cope with me daughter any more (I suffered server from post-natal depression) and that my mother was going to take over. He didnít like that and thought of his son, so he decided to end it. There are more reasons why he ended it but this is the one that sticks in my mind the most. The one thing I have to make clear it that I actually did and still do love this guy. He changed my life around when I met him. I actually started going back to school and looking after my daughter and I grew up a lot when I was with him. I started to love my new post pregnancy body, and I actually enjoyed our intimate times together Ė which I had never enjoyed with any other guy. It was more a point Ďyou do it, or I finish with youí but my ex was not like that. (thought i should just say me and my ex were together for 7-8 months)

Itís now three years later and Iím now 18. I have dated a couple of guys since, one I managed to feel some feelings towards but that didnít last either. Iím now with a new guy and have been for 7 months but I donít have the feelings for him like I do my ex. My boyfriend is currently on holiday and Iíve been chatting to me ex more than normal and weíve gotton really close, we BOTH bring up things from the past and how we enjoyed each others company. Whilst we have talked Iíve told him about my feelings as he said he still feels strongly for me but only as friends, heís been in a relationship for a year and so many months. So getting back as much as I want to is not in his interests and nor will I try to make it his. I want to get over him. When we talk I still get butterflies in my stomach and I feel like I would do anything for him. He makes me feel happiness no one else can. I still want to talk to him as a friend but I do not want this feeling of longing for him. How can I get over him, and try to love my boyfriend like I do my ex? How does a girl get over her first love :S should I carry on talking to him? its been 3 years and the feelings are still intact from the word go Ė if not stronger. Advice
It is really difficult to get over your first love... in fact many people never forget their first love. So don't feel like you are different in this.

Talk with your boyfriend about what is going on in your heart. Not only will it get your feelings out in the open where you can deal with them, but it will also probably bring you and your boyfriend closer together.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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