Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I know you told me that I should start reducing my worries and all that, and I know you probably wish that I'd just go away, but there are still some things bothering me. And yes, I have spoken to another family member about all of this - she's doubtful and confused too.
So he's spending one hell of a lot of time around me and my group of friends - more than anybody else in the class. He jokes around with us and almost every time we have him, he makes proper eye contact with me and smiles at me - something he doesn't do all that often.
Then last week, he walked up behind me and tickled my side for no reason, although as he took his hand away, he caressed my side a little - accidental or not, I don't know.
My friend joked that another friend was checking him out, and he thought she meant me, so he looked at me with this smirk, and not one that said 'That's enough..' one that was a bit more... it had something more to it. He gave me the same smirk later on when my friend said something else, too.
Then, the final, most recent thing - the other day, my friend and i were sitting at our desks working when he stopped at the end of the desk. I glanced up and he looked right into my eyes as he said 'I LIKE the look of THAT' And I asked him what, and he just held the eye contact for a bit longer, giving me the same smirk he had the previous week, and then waited for a moment before pointing to my drawing.
Oh, and also, one final thing that is not so bad but could still mean something - I was told that while I was pulling up my trousers up the other day, he was standing watching me closely, his tongue out a little bit.
Am I just being stupid now?? Do you think that these things are all adding up?? What is your opinion??
Thanks for your help.
He is going too far by tickling and caressing your side. The rest is not too good either but could be simple minded flirting... inappropriate flirting.
The next step is to tell him you would like to have a personal conversation with him. Make sure he knows it is private. Tell him that you like him but you draw the line at touching. That you know it is wrong for teachers to touch students. He will apologize and probably make you feel like you are the problem but don't pay any attention. If he says he touches all his students just say you don't like it. That's the best thing to do to end this.
Now, you can avoid this discussion with him if there are only a few weeks left of school. Just make sure he doesn't make any advances beyond school. That would be outrageous and you would have no option but to tell your school counselor or someone else like your parents.
If you are having him next years, then you have no choice but to have the private talk with him now. Please let me know how it goes.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com