Cheating and Lying Wife

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
For a while my wife had stopped having sex with me. My wife would have sex with me every three to four months, but when she did she showed no emotion. I asked her why she did not want to have sex with me. She would get upset with me and defend herself. I do admit that I did not show her a lot attention or tell her she was special due to my job, but this job was not permanent, and the lack of attention would not last. My wife had the opportunity to go overseas to work for six months. After 30 days she said she was lonely, and missed me. I found out she had cheated on me through some emails she had written to a guy. She denied and sounded very convincing. But I stood my ground and kept putting holes in her story. She finally admitted it and said she only did it once. Now I wonder if she had been cheating on me all this time. We did not have sex for months and months, but my wife could not wait three months before cheating on me. I told her I wanted a divorce, because she betrayed me and besides I suspected her cheating before due to her not having sex with me. My wife says she loves me and that was the first time. My wife has never begged like this before. She sounds remorseful and convincing and says it will not happen again nor has it ever happen before. But she has always sounded convincing and sounded really convincing when she denied cheating. Now my wife is willing to be a better wife. Should I believe my wife and give her a chance or do you possibly think she was unfaithful all this time. Advice
Of course I don't know the answer to your specific question about whether was unfaithful all the time.

My guess is that she wasn't cheating before, but was feeling unloved and physically craved attention. That's why she took the opportunity when she was gone. Face facts, you just might have done the same thing. Nobody can easily do without affection and eventually they seek it elsewhere.

The big question is whether you two can make up and become loving partners again. If it is to work, you will both have to try very hard to bring back that loving feeling. You especially will have to overcome your bad feelings about what she did.

Get some counseling which will help you to understand yourselves and each other better.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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