Am I staying with him because I'm afraid of being alone?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I have been going out with my boyfriend for the past three years, the first being in high school and the last two being very long distance in college. We argue about lots of things but I keep telling myself that everyone does it and not to worry, but our fights escalade to where he makes me feel like really horrible where I'm sobbing. He gets after me if I don't let him know where I'm going or if I don't call him, which I talk to him at least three times a day. He also makes me feel guilty about going really far away for school even though its to do what I want and makes me feel bad about wanting to see my family. I also feel like I haven't really done anything, like go hang out with my friends because he gets really jealous. He puts so much pressure on me to visit and its hard to work it out and he gets mad if it doesn't and blames me. I feel like I haven't had the opportunity to be on my own, but I'm afraid of breaking up with him because what if I don't find someone else? All these thoughts have been weighing on my mind and agains causing lots of stress and I'm afraid to bring it up with him.

We talk about how we are going to be together after college and how I'd basically follow him through med school. On top of that he already pushing the idea of a baby and I know I am not ready for that.

I do love him, but I don't know what to do. Advice
He has a dominating personality and is hurting you by being so demanding.

He wants everything his way and is not thinking of you but himself. Since he is pre-med, he is under intense pressure and takes it out on you.

Stop this madness and find someone new. Don't settle for a mean person just because you are afraid of not finding someone else. You will find a nice person if you let yourself do it.

If you don't have the guts to break up with him, at least lay down the law that you won't take anymore of his bull. You are an independent person and deserve to live your life the way you want to. But, best bet is to dump him.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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