Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay... I've been on my period for 3 weeks now and I looked it up online and i've been having all the signs of a miscarriage.. well I found out I had a miscarriage.. I told my boyfriend and at first he acted like he really cared. He was really upset because he wanted a baby.. Well we found out i was 4 months pregnant and the baby was already formed and everything.. At first he seemed like it actually bothered him.. He told me he understood that I was going through a lot right now and that he's happy i've been being strong.. Well we were on the phone and he started saying that losing our baby has no affect on him and theres no point in loving something he never knew.. He's being so mean about this.. and I don't know what to do.. How do I handle a situation like that... he know's how much this ment to me and i thought it ment something ot him too.. I told him to leave me alone and i got really upset.. i'm trying to fight back from crying but it's hard.. What do i do.. please help...
The whole idea took him by surprise. He hasn't been going through the hormonal changes that you did and he did carry the baby like you did and he didn't suffer the physical loss like you did.
It was good that he responded well at first, a lot of guys would just shrug and say "too bad." But then he started thinking about the reality of it and probably had second thoughts. It just wasn't as real to him as it is to you.
Also, he his trying to cover up his feelings so he won't feel bad. This is wrong for him to do but understandable.
You have the choice of letting him go because he is not empathetic or you can try to work it out.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com