Afraid my problem is screwing things up...

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi there and thanks for taking the time to answer this. Me and my girlfriend have been together almost 2 years and love each other deeply. However, I think I may have a problem. A year ago, me and my girlfriend started 'messing around' I should say.. and it seems as if I'm addicted to it now, to the point I feel like its getting in the way of our relationship. I'm a college student who is gone through the week, and when I come home from the weekend, I feel like we have to at least once. At the beginning of our relationship, we both had about the same drive, but now it seems like she's starting to taper off. I want be clear that I have never pressured her into anything, although when she doesn't feel like it, I get moody which makes her feel bad about it. Later on, I beat myself up for being so stupid about it! We've talked about marriage seriously, as we are both 20, and I'm afraid this is going to carry on later. I dont want her to feel like its all I want, I just dont know what to do. Advice
Once you are married you will be together all the time so it won't be such a problem.

As far as now goes... I'll mention the obvious in case you haven't thought about it. Sometimes she won't be in the mood because she is either pre-menstrual or actually menstruating.

As difficult as it may be, discuss this openly with her so you fully understand what her feelings are. Be sure to let her know that you are not trying to make her guilty, just want open feelings between you.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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