Past Jealousy, Lies, Sneakiness, You Name It

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 8 years and have 3 children together.
When we first got together when we were teenagers I was very jealous of any female friends that he had and especially one in particular. At first I didn't show my jealousy, I just simply told him I didn't like this girl writing him little notes all the time, calling him all the time, and hanging all over him, seriously, they acted like they were the ones dating. So he started being sneaky and doing all this behind my back which really got me fired up. I ended up hating this girl.
Years later after I thought their friendship was over he brought her back into his life and lied about it. I found out on my own. My question for this is...even now after being together for so long, why am I still, to this very day, worried about this girl? It's been 3 three years since he last spoke to her, as far as I know of. Why can't I get over it?

Sorry, but I have another question too:
My friend recently told me that when I stopped going to the same highschool as my boyfriend that he dated another girl, and she called the girl a wh*re.
After about a month after me and my boyfriend got together we broke up for a month...but we were still together if you know what I mean. I'm guessing that's when he dated her. I've asked him about it and he lies and says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I've found a way to get a hold of this girl and I'm dying to know if they had an intimate relationship together. If they didn't then it would be so easy to let go, but if they did then, that means he was with us both and that's just gross. My question is should I let this go, since it happened so long ago, or should I pursue it? It's been bugging me for so long now, not knowing. But at the same time I'm scared of what the answer might be. Please help me with both of my questions. I really could use the advice. Thanks and I'm sorry it's so long! Advice
It's been eight years now.

You need to see a professional counselor to help you with this problem since it is bothering you so much.

Generally speaking though, you should work on building your self respect and learn to trust. The counselor can help you with that.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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