Cheating Love 2

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
He was heartbroken when he found out she cheated on him... I'm not going to say how he found out, but neither of us told him. I cheated with a girl I fell absolutely in love with. She said she loved me more than she even felt for him, she had said it a few times, and I believed her. I still thinks she loves me with a deep passion. But all she wants is him. He broke up with her and she was crushed. All she can think about is him, all she can talk about is him and how much she misses him and wants him back. I am just a 'mistake' to her. We made love...we didn't just have sex...but now all of the sudden she regrets it and it becomes a mistake. I'm just a mistake. She wants him back for all she's worth...and I'm not sure if he's going to take her back or not. She never regretted it before..she felt guilty, of course, but she never regretted it. Now she does. I'm still so deeply in love with her, but I don't know what to do. She dropped our friendship in an instant and became overwhelmed with need for him. We have such a deep spiritual connection, emotional connection, and physical connection. I don't want to give up...I think there is still a chance...I don't want to be a 'backup'...but if I become her #1...will it matter that I was just a backup in the beginning? She had said just days before that she was planning on breaking up with him soon anyways because of problems between them...but now she's absolutely devastated. I still want her...I can't help but want her, adore her still. I don't want to get rid of her, but she has made clear that she doesn't want me. I don't know what to do. I feel we could really go far if I was given the chance...I know she still loves me...but all she thinks about is him right now. Will it pass? Will I ever have a chance with her? Am I wasting my time? I love her so much...I feel so connected to her...I want her so badly....but I don't know what to do. Please help. Advice
First you need to get over the "backup" question. You are a backup so face it and live with it.

Second, nothing good is going to happen for you until she gives up on the other guy. So, keep in contact with her, let her know you love her (tell her simply not a long emotional story), be her friend and confidant.

If she's going to come to you, she will. Don't drive her away by pushing at her too hard right now. She needs time to heal.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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