i just dont know what to do...

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female

{{another quick thing: don't ask about my "relationship" with him....if you catch my drift...i mean...ya know....my "bed" life.... =P }}

Questions to think about while reading: Should I just give up? or Should I keep fighting?

Well. To start, i'll explain my situation.

I'm 15 and my ex-best friend's name is Amie, you'll understand after you read this. I guess it might just be a teen thing, but i'm not sure about that. because i really love this guy...i know it's early in life...but i do...and...yeah...ok...here goes nothing...

My best friend Amie moved away and there SHE met a guy and started dating him. I was talking with her fine up til now. She and i hav been friend since the 7th grade, so it's been a while. Well, anyway. I started talking to this guy, Tyler, and we became good friends. We talked for about a month, then he told me that he LIKED me! i was so happy to hear it because i had liked him for a while before that. and the VERY NEXT day, he broke up with Amie. She go tmad at me, said i "stole" him from her. it was HIS choice, not mine...anyway. and he and i dated for about 2.5 weeks and he dumped me to go back with Amie. i was broken and left behind that day...i went through a small period of depression {{but i'm better now}}. anways. the last week he and i were talking and he decided to hang out with me. so he and i made plans for him to come over my house. so he did. and that weekend that he stayed, we had sex. friday night and staurday nighte! im not a whore or a slut or anything but i think i love him. he says he loves me...but anyways. he was CHEATING on Amie this weekend, he said he didnt care. i know he didn't either. So, we had a good weekend together. he said on sunday he would dump Amie again and stay with me. he ended up telling Amie about it, and she took him back!! ughh. so now he and i are talking and such. i plan to get him back somehow by PROVING that i love him more than she does. because i do. it's obvious, any moron can see it! just she treats him bad, she doesn't give him any freedom or space really. she HATES that i'm even talking to him. she just wants him to have no contact with me. i keep telling her that he needs to be able to have his own friends regardless of what she thinks of them. she just gets mad at me. this whole thing is childish and now i just dont know what to do.

sorry about it being so long, it's just that i need to explain it to ask you the question that i'm getting to... So, the basic jist of this whole thing is: i love him more than anything in the world. and i'll shout it to the world, i don't really care what other people think abuot it. I LOVE TYLER!! so what? get used to it...anyways... so i love this guy ALOT and i want him. and he wants to date me, he just doesnt want people to hate him. Amie is popular in the sense that she has a lot of friends. she's well liked. and if Tyler hurts her again, people from school are going to get mad at him and hate him. he just doesnt want that to happen, seeing as he's already got alot of problems at home. anyway! i love him {{as i've said oh so many times now}} and i just want to know what i should do in such a situation. should i just give up and wait for him to come to his senses? or should i keep fighting for him? I'm just so confused. He said i could win him over by proving that i love him more than Amie does. Not a bribe-y thing...but he has trust issues..because he's been lied to by his parents and friends all his life...so he just doesn't trust anyone. I know that's a bad thing to look for..but i want him to be able to trust me. so how do i do this? how do i make him realize that he can trust me? like, what can i do to prove my love to him? {{that sounds so retarded "how do i prove my love to him?" like an old romance movie from the 12th century. haha}}

i feel so broken and alone without him...but when i'm around him or talking to him, i feel whole.complete. loved. wanted...ya know? it just seems like i need him....and i'm just not sure what to do..in fact...im just not sure of anything anymore....


RomanceClass.com Advice
The way to prove your love to Tyler is to step away from the situation and see what develops. Trying to make him break up with Amie will just make him feel stressed out and unhappy. You don't want that for him.

Plus, everyone will hate him if he hurts Amie again and then he will really feel unhappy.

Give him a month without contacting him so he can make up his mind without pressure. If a month goes by and he is still with Amie then you know that he is serious about her. Tell him you are giving him a month and why you are doing it so he won't be upset.

This is the nicest thing you can do for him right now.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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