Is my boyfriend cheating?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ok, so I've never asked for love advice before, but I thought I would give it a shot. Here is my story. I'm 28 and my boyfriend is 34. I met my boyfriend about 6 months ago and he was completely open to his past the first night we met. (or at least I thought he was)...He's divorced, has 2 children from two different women. And when we first met there was a friend of his that seemed overly jealous that the two of us were talking..making me think he had a past with her too.
We have since moved in together and I've always had this gut feelings that he's been cheating on me. I've found random numbers in his phone..His jealous friend was over at our apartment when I wasn't there...I found questionable text messages from her on his phone.
And lastly just about 2 weeks ago I found a couple of text messages from one of his high school employees saying, "not sure if I would be into that. Plus I feel bad since you're seeing someone."...I almost dropped dead when I read that! I tried to kick him out, but he swore to me it was nothing. That he was just trying to help out a friend. Needless to say we are still together.
I just don't trust him. I am always questioning in my mind where he is going, if he's working with that girl, etc....What do I do?
Plus, when he is on the phone with his ex I question that too. I know they have a child together, but it is just weird for me. I'm not used to being with someone who has a past as extensive as his.
First off, you have to get over feeling weird when he talks to exes when they share a child. It is absolutely unavoidable and you should live with it.
The question about whether he is cheating is more difficult. You have no proof or even good evidence except that text message which could easily be innocent.
Keep an eye wide open since sometimes there is a fire even if you don't smell smoke. Just for your own sanity, and while he lives with you, give him every benefit of the doubt. You can't live happily with someone you don't trust.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com