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[Love is] to be two and at the same time one. --Sonya Levien

Hurt and Confused

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 2.5 years. We just broke up last week after I realized that he would never change. He has lied to me in the past about calling another girl (she was just his friend, but he still lied about it which is not acceptable), about watching porn ( I don't like it and if it makes me so upset and so uncomfortable around him, than he shouldn't do it.. and some guy friends of mine have agreed with that statement), and so on. He also has anger issues, which was the reason why I broke up with him. He has lost his temper on me about four times through our relationship, and the last time last week was about something completely stupid. I realize that he won't change, and I don't think that we're good for each other at all. I need to be single and date other people. But how do I move on successfully?? I'm afraid that if I try and be with someone else, I will think about my ex and I will not want to hug the person I'm dating, and so on. I really need to move on, but I don't know how. We have also stayed friends and still talk. he is completely depressed but knows that he messed up. I know that he will probably try and get me back when he gets back (he is currently living away for the next year), and that is hard to deal with too because if I want to move on, but I know that he's going to try and get me back I feel like if he's here in person I will be weak and want to be with him also.

RomanceClass.com Advice
You are really overthinking this.

He will be gone for a year. That gives you plenty of time to test the waters and see how it goes. Don't worry about the fear of hugging. If it doesn't happen then try someone else. The more you are away from your ex, the more you will miss the physical nearness that we all require. My guess is that you will find someone you want to hug.

Who knows what he will do a year from now. Now isn't the time to think about it. Focus on the present.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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