I screwed up, she is now in a long-distance, i want her back
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Me and my ex went out for about 5 months, it was a good relationship, but i wasn't sure i felt as strongly about her as she did about me and it showed, i screwed up (didn't cheat or anything, was just an idiot), and by the end of the relationship I took her for granted. I was actually relieved when she broke up with me. At that stage she "wanted a break" and I probably could have gotten her back had I started acting like a decent human being.
For a long while I was fine about it, i treated her badly, even letting others know private details, despite saying at the beginning that we would "still be friends".
A few months back, at a party, i drunkenly felt her up (she was also drunk), she didn't resist for about half an hour - until she said no. After that I realised what I'd lost (Oh, the irony) and (stupidly) confessed it all in an emotional online conversation - and I've been treating her well since then, I'm fairly sure she realises how I feel, though she hasn't mentioned it since then. Not long after that she went out with a very nice guy at our shcool, their relationship went well for a couple of months until his family moved away - she wanted to break up, but they ended up trying-long distance. As cruel as it sounds- I can't see it happening in the long run.
Recently, while I was with her at her house, she almost kissed me, but I, in nervousness, turned away. She's given other signs too, like letting me touch her and stuff.
A few days ago she almost cheated on her boyfriend with a random guy she'd met two times at a party she was hosting. She managed to hold back and felt terrible and told her boyfriend about it (he was hurt though they are still together). Now she talks to me and says things like "you're such a great friend "x".
Sorry for this being so long - I'm not asking if she likes me. I'm asking what, in your opinion, my next course of action should be. I feel for her more now than I ever did, she is amazing, the irony of it is almost as bad as the pain of not having her. And yes, I realise how wrong I was to treat her how I did. - I'm 17.
You are right that her long-distance romance will not last too long. She seems to be out of control when she is drunk.
My advice is to leave her alone. But that is not what you want to hear.
So, my next advice is to make it clear to her that you want to be back with her and that you will treat her nicely this time. It will probably go better if she has been drinking.
But, think about my first advice. If she can't be trusted with her long-distance boyfriend, why would she be faithful to you?
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com