Just Friends with the Ex???
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
So here's the thing: I dated a friend of mine for almost 2 years. The relationship was great and talk from him about our future together was a constant(even about marriage & kids). The relationship ended abruptly when he out of the blue said "I don't love you.. let's just be friends." I took it hard & explained to him that it's gonna take some time before we can be friends... he couldn't understand that and HAD to call me and see me all the time. Eventually he started dating another girl.. cheated on her with me & lied to her about me (since she hated me) the whole time they were together and never took his relationship with this girl seriously even though they dated for almost a year. This I should add is completely out of his character because he hates cheaters and has never done something like that before. We started fighting when I met someone and for about a year and a half now we've been fighting on and off. Every time I tell him its over, leave me alone, he calls within a month or two... saying he misses me. Currently we are both single and for the past month we've decided to put the past in the past and to be friends. We talk daily, sometimes more than once. I finally have my best friend back, the only problem is that I love him with everything and always have. I'm not sure how he feels - about a 2 weeks ago he told me that its always been different with me and that he can't let me go BUT.. The other night I mentioned that in a few months of being friends that we should take our friendship to a more physical level like it had been and he said that we both know that that would be a bad idea. Now I don't know if this is because I had been hurt by the guy after him who had just used me and he knows this or if I'm soooo far in the friend zone that he doesn't even want me anymore. How should I read this and is there any hope at all to get the love of my life back for good???
You love him with everything and always have.
Does he know this? If he really is a best friend, you should be able to trust him with this information. What if he feels the same way and is afraid to start over again not knowing how you feel?
You don't need to blurt it out to him, instead gradually say sweet and complimentary things to him until he feels your love. Still at some point you will need to let him know directly.
You are in an ideal situation (sort of) because you and he still get along really well and the chances are reasonable that things will work out for you. As you can imagine I get questions from people whose love has changed their phone number on them. That's when it's the pits.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com