Am i doing the right thing?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Me and my ex broke up but we really didnt get any closure. About a week or 2 after we broke up, i heard through some friends that she still had feelings for me but couldnt have the commitment of a relationship at the time because of school and work and just life being so hectic at the time. So i thought ok, so maybe in the future some time. I was willing to pick it up later, but i wasnt going to wait. This was about 2 months ago.
We hung out a few times since then, and every time we were together it got pretty deep, like you could tell we were more than friends. But she started to get a little wired, like one week she would call or text me every day, then the next i wouldnt hear from her at all. And she would sometimes let plans fall through and stuff like that. Then a couple weeks ago, we talked on messenger and it was kind of strange. She was acting really sad and said something was bothering her, but she wouldnt tell me what it was. I didnt try to pry or anything i just asked her what was wrong. And she kept apologizing for not calling and letting plans fall through and asked if i hated her. (I dont know where she got this impression but anyway.) And she also said she missed me.
I texted her a few days later if she was feeling better, but she didnt respond, but apologized for not responding a couple days after that. And since then, she has been sending me texts about inside jokes we talked about months ago, and just some random things like How i can afford to fill my truck up with gas with prices being so high.
So this girl is really confusing me. I have been trying to give her space but It seems like she doesnt want me to get to close, but at the same time doesnt want me to get to far. So i was wondering, what do you think she is doing/thinking? And am i doing the right thing by stepping back and letting her figure it out on her own, or should i try to put myself in her life more, even though she has some streaks of letting things fall through? And any other advice is appreciated too!
This is completely confusing and my advice is tentative.
First thought is that she has a new male friend in her life. That would explain a lot. Ask her if she can honestly say what is happening.
If there is no other man, then my advice is to try to put yourself back into her life and cope with her letting things fall through. She should respect that you are out there putting yourself on the line.
Also, you will get a better idea of what is bugging her if you are closer to her.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com