I'm jealous over everything in my relationship.
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just over a year now and recently over the past 5 or so months my jealousy has gotten really bad. About 5 months ago my boyfriend told me he wanted a break because he needed to sort things out and really try to understand things. He did this because I cheated on him in the beginning of our relationship. While on our break he hooked up with 3 girls. One in which used to be a friend of mine. He told me everything that happened and explained to me why he had done that. I understood and wasn't mad at him. He goes out and parties every weekend and there are lots of girls there. He's told me numerous times that he doesn't want anybody else that he only wants me. He's said if he didn't want me he wouldn't have put up with everything i've put him through this past year. I feel my jealousy is ruining our relationship. It is making us both very unhappy and it's stressing the both of us out. I desperatly want to stop being jealous and KNOW that he's with me and he only wants me. He tells me all the time that he only loves me and i'm the only girl he ever wants. He tells me I'm the perfect girl for him but I have a hard time believing it. Not because I don't want to, just because I'm afraid. I think every other girl looks better than me and has a better everything than me. I desperatly need help on how to stop being jealous and how to know and believe and understand that he's with me and only wants me. Please help me. I'm desperate!
RomanceClass.com Advice Jealousy can definitely ruin a relationship and make you miserable along the way.
You are lacking in trust and self-esteem (as are many others). There are no easy answers for either of these problems. It is good that you have self-awareness and that will make it easier for you to deal with the problem.
For help, take a look at the following websites:
http://www.coping.org/growth/trust.htm
and
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682
Good luck! George -- from George One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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