Should I get out of a 3-way relationship?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I am a 17 year old girl who has been dancing for several years now. Last august I met this guy from one of my classes. Immediately, he was very charming and extremely flirtatious. Later I found out that he is married and at 22 years old he and his wife have an "open relationship". I was fully aware of the situation and had many doubts about taking things further with him. I was concious that he was extremely attracted to me and equally I really fancied him. Eventually after a period of time I slept with him. It was my first sexual experience and it felt amazing to be with him, he was so understanding. It did seem a little odd to me that he was married but I suppose he was so used to it that it wasn't an issue. However, lately him and his wife have been having alot of problems. Apparently she feels very inferior and is extremely jealous of me. Without sounding big-headed, I've always had a lot of male attention and alot of people tell me that I am very attractive and sometimes alot of women turn there nose up at me. Yet I've always remained level headed and friendly - image is not something that is really important to me. So anyway, she basically told her husband that she's not happy with him sleeping with me yet she said she can't stop him, she just doesn't want to know about it. There have also been problems when she told him that she doesn't fancy him anymore but she still loves him and wants to be with him, I'm unsure how he feels about that. I love him very much and it's exciting what we have but I'm not sure whether it's healthy to continue in our relationship. At the end of the day, I would not wish for him to break up with his wife. I am still young and I know deep down that he won't be my only love and he's not gonna be in my life forever. Do I take each step as it comes, not expecting too much, have fun and let him be in control of the situation or do I get out while I can?
You can always get out when you want to.
Meanwhile let him know that you don't want to cause a break-up and that if one happens then you are through with him.
This is one reason why polyamory (having multiple sex partners by agreement) is frequently difficult.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com