the mother in law

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hello I have been married for 2 years now and my main problem is my mother in-law. When my husband and i first started to date he lived with is mother who he is VERY close to. At first him being so close to his mother wasn’t a problem to me until it started to become an issue with our relationship. There were times to where we couldn’t do anything with out her calling to see where he was, what he was doing and when he was coming home. I wanted him and i time... But it started off with us living with her and it being very uncomfortable for us to even be in the same car together ( she knows very little English-and i know enough spanish to understand, just not to have a huge conversation). She has said some very hurtful things to me in the past, but we got over that and we’ve moved on. I feel like there is some sort of competition between her and i, he doesnt make a seperation between his mom and his wife. everything out of his mouth is-well my mom this and my mom that. i know that that is his mother but i am his wife. He is constantly sticking up for her, taking care of her, paying her bills and being affectionate with her (mind you she has 2 other sons and the father of her kids). every time he talks to her he's happy (( and he talks to her a good ten times a day )) then he goes home to her (( she lives with us now )) and i know i shouldn’t be jealous of her but..its soo hard to see him give her affection when i break my back for him and try to make him happy, and when he does show me affection its when I have to ask for it. I don’t know if its me taking things the wrong way or if he still needs to grow up and realize that he has his own family now. I don’t even know if its between her and I anymore or if its him making me feel like this. Could you help me please???????? Advice
My advice is to go to and search under:
mother-in-law problem

Read all the advice. My feeling is that this problem is not unusual and when it occurs it's very difficult to manage. Your situation seems to be quite advanced and may need professional counseling unless you are willing to live with this the rest of her life.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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