don't know what to do
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
last summer i dated an aquaintance who was in the process of ending his marriage. we hung out a few times and then began dating. i really didn't think that he would be serious about me. but whenever i wouldn't call him he'd drive around looking for me or telling me when we did finally meet up again about how much he missed me. it was nice to feel wanted. he even made a lot of plans for us. he told me about all these places that he was gonna take me to.
a month later he breaks up with me very harshly. i thought that it had to do with his estranged wife who was always very hostile towards me. i found out that a few days after we broke up, he was with her again, despite the fact that she was still cheating on him. i decided that i wouldn't deal with this breakup like the others. so, i decided to get myself back on track. i quickly found a job, and some good things followed. i made sure to not call him at all. 7 months later, i still haven't called him. a month after we broke up i randomly saw him, so i went to talk to him for a few minutes. i was nervous but i figured i should just get it out of the way. a few days later i found out that he told some of my friends that it was weird and awkward to talk to me. i didn't understand why.
well, him and i having the same close mutual friends, it was hard to not be in the same room. i decided to not speak to him. i figured that i can't do everything. a few months later, he finally speaks to me. at this point, i thought that i was over him, but it thru me for a loop. it took being around him a few times for me to realize that i still had feelings for him. but i knew that he had been seeing other women. but those never worked out. him and his wife had even decided to get back together, but she just couldn't stop cheating and within a month, she left him again and is now engaged.
i thought that perhaps if things didn't work out with his wife that maybe he could see something in me again. around the holidays, one of my best friends came to town for a visit and i found out that she and my ex started seeing each other very briefly. i found out after the new year and i was very very angry about it. she broke things off with him but he was still calling her. my jealousy got the best of me. i'm still angry about this all and it's only been a month since i last spoke to her.
she asked me if i was still in love with him and i said that i was. she said that it may be for the best to just tell him. i haven't seen him since before christmas and he knows that i know about him and her. i've just chosen to stay away from everyone cause i don't want anyone to see me upset about it. everyone keeps telling me that he says good things about me and that he wants to be friends. but how on earth do i tell him that i still care about him and that i still have feelings for him? should i tell him, or not?
Tell him... you'll kick yourself if you don't.
Don't get your hopes up too high since he has had a long time to contact you if he were interested. But it's worth a shot anyhow.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com