Is it jealousy or am I right?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am a 24 year old female with relationship issues. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and 9 months. I work a full time job, part time job and have been going to school part time at nights. This semester I am going full time. Not only do I have all this responsibility, we have a family. He has a son, which he has full custody of. I love the kid like he was mine. So this means when I get off work, I have dinner to cook, dishes to wash, and when school is in, studying to do. Right now we are still on christmas break. So I had a month where I didn't have to worry studying. We did get to spend a lot of time over the holidays together. We recently purchased a car( 2007 honda civic SI) which has got him into this car site. He is totally into cars so it isn't an issue. Here the past 2 or so weeks, I have been trying to get him to just spend an evening alone with me WITHOUT having him come home from work and get straight on the computer. The computer is where the issue is. He wakes up and gets on the computer, he comes home doesn't even turn lights on and goes straight to the computer, he has a phone that is like a mini pc that he is on when he has no access to the computer. It has been a fight every night for the past couple of weeks. He insists that I am being overly jealous but sometimes he doesn't come to bed until 2 o'clock in the morning. I have been softly crying myself to sleep. He is a private investigator so I know some of him being on the computer is for work. But a lot of it is just him playing around. Cheating is not an issue. I don't think he would ever cheat on me but he keeps telling me that I am being way too jealous. I know I probably have my moments, and I don't mean to be like that. It is ruining our relationship. We actually dated about 10 years ago for a little while and he found me again on myspace. I have begged for him to just spend time with me instead of getting on the computer but he just tells me to go to bed. BUT when we have a fight, it usually doesn't last very long. We both know our realtionship is in trouble and have agreed to see a counselor/therapist. If we don't do something, it isn't going to last. And it's so hard for me to understand what happen because no kind of trust issues have arised lately. It just all of a sudden we started fussing and fighting ALL the time. Me starting it most of time over the computer. If anyone has any advice.... PLEASE HELP!!!
See the counselor as soon as possible.
He is being completely unreasonable and you are helping him by putting up with his behavior. You are left doing all the work while he plays and ignores you.
Your main goal is to the the counselor, but meanwhile ask him to set aside one night a week for just you two. By the way, does he ignore his son too? That is another problem.
Don't let this go on. It isn't jealousy.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com