I just cannot leave!
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am involved with an "unhappily married" woman. She has in the past talked about leaving him and a future with us. We have been in seperable. The problem is that its been 3 years! to add insult to injury, she has brought me into her family's life. I know this is my fault, but we could not be without each other and I believed that her plan was to fall away from him and into my life.
She swears to me that they have not had intimacy in 2 1/2 years, yet they travel together, they are always together and he is always kissing and hugging her. I feel like an idiot, but before this started, I knew her as a person with integrity and honesty. She has sworn on the lives of her family and looked me in the eye when she says it.
We have had problems of late. we have not been intimate for 6 months now and she claims its depression over the whole situation.
I know that everyone in the world would probably tell me to move on, and I know it would be best, but there is that part of me that knows she loves me. I know it! I think she is spoiled and has never had adversity and thats why she hasnt left.
I can not let her go, and I cant deal with knowing she is possible being intimate with him. She has told me she never wants to loose me and she needs time. I'm a grown man and I've been through a lot in my life, I will be completely devastated without her.
I would like your opinion
I'm sorry you are in this situation.
It seems to be a rather hopeless predicament. She is the crux of the problem. She can't or won't decide what to do. Unless you light a fire under her things will bumble along as they are until you get caught...and you will, I guarantee it.
Here is a half-baked idea (since a good idea isn't to be found): tell her that you are going to tell him if she doesn't with xxx amount of time. Then follow through with it. This will get the problem out into the open.
There is a good likelihood that her husband will want to work things out with his wife and, in the bigger picture, this is good since breaking families apart causes a lot of heartache for many people. But, if he wants to break up then you will have what you want.
None of this is pretty. It is a very messy situation.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com