in a pickle!Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
So theres this girl and we have been friends now for 6 years. Over the course of this time, i've developed feelings for her and I actually feel like she is the one for me but I feel like im caught in a pickle. She is always saying how she doesnt want to get into relationships but at the same time, it almost seems as though she wants one. I've tried asking her on little dates and she said yes and then "got sick" and ended up cancelling last minute, and to be honest, im not mad about it because im pretty sure that she actually wasnt feeling well and such. i know she trusts me and all that and we do spend time alone, but its never anything that intimate. She's always hesitent to let me put my arm around her, but aside from hugs and the occasional arm around her shoulder, thats about as intimate as it ever gets. I've been trying to think of ways to help push the friendship into a relationship but i dont want to mess up and end up screwing up a friendship, and i dont want to stay just friends, i want something more. I'm really confused and looking for some guidience on what i should do.
Yes, it is important to walk carefully and not mess up a friendship by pushing for a stronger relationship too hard.
You said you asked her out "on little dates" but then you only describe how she put you off once. Try asking her out again. Make it a nice dinner "as friends." That will relax her since she isn't looking for a relationship.
Be patient and, with time, hopefully she will be drawn to you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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