Trust and Love
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and i really love him but the only problem is i can't trust him! I did but then he started lying to me and getting girls mobile numbers behind my back. He also tells all of his friends our problems and tells girls who he hardly knows. When i find out from someone about things that he tells them, i confront him several times and he denies it everytime until i get very angry with him then he admits. He betrayed my trust in him and now i can't believe anything that he tells me.
He is going to university in Leeds soon and i am worrying so much about what he's going to be getting upto behind my back and if he goes out clubbing and getting drunk and getting close to a girl and if he ends up kissing them and then finaly ending up in bed with them. He got quite close to some girls once at a party when he was drunk that WE went to and if i wasn't there i think something would of happened and this really upset me.
I often feel jealous when he has a good time without me with his friends and when he has a laugh with other girls. I really don't want to lose him because i love him so much but i can't trust him and this really hurts. I don't know if i can trust him again and if i do it will be in a very long time.
What should I do to be able to have all of my true trust in him?
Trust is THE most important thing in a relationship. Some people are simply not capable of being honest because they put their own selfish pleasures before the meaning of the relationship they're in. Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend falls smack into that category.
Yes you love him. But sometimes to love someone is to set them free where they're happy. You can love a chickadee but let it fly into the trees where it belongs instead of caging it up in your bedroom. This guy is going to lie to you and betray you if you make him stay in a relationship with you. I would let him go and stay friends with him. But find someone else who LIKES to be honest and loyal to have for a boyfriend.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com