am i in over my head?!?!
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
hello i have a really big problem. i think thati am falling in love with an amazing girl i met at work. she is very different from any other women i have ever met, she actually treats me like a person and i just feel a strong connection with that i feel with no one else and never have. the dates we have been have all been amazing and i always have the best time with her and i cant stop smiling
and she seems to have a good time cuz i make her laugh and smile a lot. she has even told me that im funny and that i think like her and that it was neat. on some dates i even held her hand and she left it there, at times my hand even got kinda sweaty and she would take it back to wipe it but put it back again. i dont know her exact thoughts when we hang out but it seems as though she enjoys my company as well and enjoys being with me. as a matter of fact i asked and she said she did. a while back after telling her i really liked her she said she did too. i asked her out about week but she said that there were too many things happening in her life, she had to focus on priorities and family, and that she really could not and was not looking for boyfriend. sha also asked things like why do you like me? andshe told me that i was such a good guy that she wanted me to find a girl good enough for me and that she did not want to hurt me and for ruin what we had and our friendship. i tried convincing to change her mind but she had to leave. we kept hanging out and going on dates though. well maybe about a month or a month and a half after this we went on a date and it was AMAZING! we went to the park and played around, then after we went to the mall to eat and watch a movie. when we walked next to each we held hands and she seemed very happy, during the movie i even put my around her and she moved closer to me, and when we got back to the car before we got in i held her in my arms and she wrapped her arounds me and we stayed like this for about 5 minutes. two days after she and i both got off work at the same time so i took her home and hung out with her and her family for about two hours. when i was leaving i asked her if she could go outside with me for a minute. at first she hesitated a bit cuz uit was cold but then agreed. once we got out i held again and she wrapped her arms around me again and this time i asked her if i could kiss her and said yes and it took my breathe away and she seemed happy. i was a bit worried about whether or not she liked but that same night she texted me and told me good night so im guessing it went well. this was all about a month ago and we have still been going dates and hanging out. she even invited me to a concert cuz she got 2 free tickets and i had a good time with her, but i asked her out again that night and she said pretty much the sme thing as last time and that was not thinking about that. she has also joined the army since then to pay for college. i felt sad cuz i knew that she would have to be away but i did my best to support her and am even helping her to train by running together. well one day after we were done training her friend AJ and another friend called her and found out we were nearby training and that he wanted to see her. she said ok but while were there waiting i told her that it was ok and that if she wanted she could stay and hang with them but she seemed to feel somewhat bad because she was with me and said if i wanted to stay and hang but i said no because i didnt not know them but thank you. later that day she texted me thanking for all i had done that day and if i was ok. i said not really and asked her if she liked anyone, she said yes and that it was AJ.she said she didnt want me to be jealous. i asked her if she liked me and she said that i was one of her best friends and didnt want to ruin our friendship if anything bad happened and that she cared about me. she said she didnt want to like me or to go out with me becasue she wanted me to go out with a good girl who will treat me right and someone who deserves me.
since i found out she liked AJ i asked her she had been lying to me before about her priorties and what not and was liked AJ at the time and was just waiting for him or something. she said she had like him way before she met me and was not lying about what she said before and that she did not know until recently the he liked her too. i was still wondering if she liked me so i aksed her again and as though frustrated she said yes but as a friend only. the next day she texted me saying i hope ur okay. we started talking and i asked her why if i was one of her best friends she sometimes pushed me away when i only wanted to help her. she said that all of her friends had either failed her or stopped being there and that she could not let me get too close ive told her that i care about her too much and thaT I plan on being there forever. ever since then we have kept talking and trained again. and i keep trying to show her i care for her and just want her to be happy and make her laugh and smile. i am so confused because she says one thing but her actions tell me something different at times. fior example she text or calls me almost every day or i call her but we talk almost every day! when we hang out something just tells me that she may like me too. she seems to trust me cuz she has even cried in front of me once and one the phone becauseof things happening in her life and i have tried to comfort her as best as i can. i ned to know do you think there is any hope at all?! i am falling in love and i dont know if she will ever fell that way about me. should i just stop thinking about this and move on? please tell what you think about all this and what i should do! i really need your help ASAP!!!!! im sorry this is so long! thank you for your help!!!!!im sorry but please respond to this and not the other i added something to this that the other didnt have!
It's a little difficult how she feels.
She seems to like you a lot and even love you as a friend. That's why you get those loving feelings from her and why you get along so well.
But, she mas made it clear that she doesn't want a dating relationship with you because she is so busy AND she likes AJ. I don't think she was lying to you about being busy. And if she gets together with AJ, she will have very little time for him. Strangely, she will probably have more contact with you than him.
This is a rough time for you and I'm sorry about that.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com