Really awkward friendship

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male

Ive been in love with whats been my best friend for nearly 3 years. Ive told her at the beginning of summer I loved her, She replied saying that were too platonic, if we werent then things could be different. She also said that we argue too much. But our arguments are weird. We argue but we sort of have a form of silent apology. Is it possible that we argue BECAUSE of any of these feelings? I know that i end up arguing sometimes because of mine.

We've been quite close, we have quite alot in common and we both have similar attitudes. However, im getting really confused. One day, we'll be fantastic, we'll talk, laugh, joke like nobody else exists. But then another day, she just doesnt talk to me.

My friends have pointed out many things. They say, that if one of us is not in the room at our college, then were abit, withdrawn or down. If we are but were just not talking, she looks at me and just, turns away and vice versa.

about 6 weeks ago we went and saw a movie with another friend. We were joking laughing e.t.c, but the next day she was abit, upset. Nothing to do with me, but she was abit withdrawn from all her other friends. I didnt speak to her, but i text her, just sending a smile and making sure shes allright. She replied sending a smiley and thats shes ok. But from then we didnt speak at all. It was completly weird, but it happens not often, but sometimes frequent. Ofcourse, when it came to giving each other christmas present, we were laughing joking e.t.c.

Basically i just wish to have some advice on what im interpreting here. Im really confused on everything, people point things out that make me assured im not the only one who sees this. Its just, it hurts me alot when we arnt talking, but when we do, all the feelings flood back and it gets me really down again. We've both admitted that theres ourselves, and one other person we care about at college.

As i said, ive already told her i love her but thats it, we never went into detail or spoke about it since. The feelings i have are making it really hard, especially when i lost most my friends because they were really horrible to her and i stuck up for her.

So, what advice could you give, on anything really, id just like an outside viewpoint because, its confusing and hurtful.

Thanks in advance (especially for reading this long question!) Advice
It may be the time to tell her you love her again.

Too often these things go to the back of the mind and that may be where she is now. She could still have only friends feelings for you, but it would be good to get her to think of it again.

Tread lightly though. You don't want to ruin your friendship by being too aggressive on your feelings. You might want to ask her if she remembers what you said at the beginning of last summer and you want her to know you feel the same way.

Sorry, this must be rough on you I'm sure.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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