I don't know what to do
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
The last time i contacted you was about a year ago and you were a massive help, thank you.
I seem to now be in a worse situation that i was before.
I split up with my ex in July 2006, we were together for nearly two years.
We began sleeping together again in May/June 2007 before i was due to go on holiday with friends. At which point i decided to tell her that i was still in love with her. She said she didnt feel the same.
I decided i must get over her and just be friends so i went on holiday and had an amazing time. At which point she decided to send me an SMS to tell me she still loved me. The next day i phoned her and we talked about getting back together.
When i arrived home she was waiting for me and i couldnt wait to see her. The problem was, i was still seeing another girl at the same time. I decided to call things off with her to try and get back with my ex. From July until the end of December 2007 we were seeing each other as pretty much boyfriend and girlfriend. Unfortunately we had lots of arguements about the past and what she had done whilst we had been split up.
Last week she decided she wanted some space to 'sort herself out'. After talking things through (and me becoming very upset) she decided she didnt want to be with me. She told me 'we have tried and things dont work' and 'we have both become very different'. She said 'she couldnt give me the things i needed and her heart wasnt in it'.
She is a very indecisive person and regularly changes her group of friends and how she feels about things. If i'm honest, i know i didnt give the perspective relationship 100% because i was worried about getting hurt again.
I know feel very hurt and upset, and i dont know what to do. I still want to be with her and i know she still loves me a lot. We spend a lot of time together over xmas and i even flew to Jersey with her to spend time with her dad.
I love her more than anything in the whole world and i just want to give things a 'proper' go. But she won't entertain the thing and feels that she would be with me for the wrong reasons. I cant understand how she can suddently become like this after all this time.
I have now begun seeing the girl i was seeing prior to my holiday. I dont love her and i'm always thinking about my ex. But i simply dont want to be alone because it gets me even more upset.
What should i do? Should i go into a serious relationship with her knowing i still love my ex and want to be with her? I would do anything to have my ex back but i dont know what she is thinking or feeling any more.
Please give me some advice. Thanks :)
Tell your ex that you have started seeing someone else because you are lonely.
But that you still love her and want to be back with her. Tell her that you will, as a sign of good faith, stop bringing up her past. Clean slate.
That will help you put 100% into your relationship with her.
She is probably ready to give it a go again since you say she changes her mind a lot.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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