Its been over for years but i want her back

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
It all started about april of 06.I was still in highschool and my best friend and his girlfriend were telling me about a girl who wants to hang out with me.I was ok with it i saw the girl at school she was gorgeous.Well it turns out i knew her older brother and he was one my good friends and he gave me permission to be with her.We hit it off right away up until around jun when me her and couple my friends went to a party.I ended up kissing a girl right before we were leaving my girlfriend was in the car i was intoxicated not saying that was an excuse but it didnt help.The next day i told her about it and apologized and convinced her it meant nothin because it didnt mean anything.Our relationship went good after that except for the few arguements an bickering.The next major issue was i cheated on her again in like september.Me and one of her friends which was one of my sisters friends started having sex but quit because we both agreed it was wrong.I dont know why i did it but i knew it was a mistake.I never told her about it until we broke up.we were going good until november when my mom decided to have a mid life crisis and decided he wanted to move to iowa.I didnt want to go and my mom knew that she told me she would pay for an apartment in michigan as long as i stayed in school but i didnt want to ask that much out of her so i decided i was going to move also.I talked to my girlfriend at the time and we talked it over she was going to move down in january she really wanted us to work out.After i moved in november couple days later she called me telling me she was pregnant,I knew immediately i made a mistake.After she told me that I immediately started working to save up so i could move back i drove up around christmas time to goto a doctors appointment and to be with her for christmas.after that was started sguing a lot and she started thinking about abortion,thats the last thing i wanted was for her to get an abortion.She ended up losing the baby in jan because of stress and we ended up breaking up about two weeks after that.A week after that she was dating her ex boyfriend before me who had a restraining order on him because he beat her.In my desperate attempt i saved up enough money to move back down to michigan to get her back.That plan didnt work i eventually told her about me cheating her on with her friend and she told me she cheated on me with her ex around the same time.After about two months living with my friends payin them rent money to stay at there houses my car broke down so i had no way of getting back and forth to work.I knew that was a sign that i had to change so i joined the army and left in april of 07.We didnt really talk much during basic training which was about 10 weeks but she did send me one letter telling me she loves me and wished things would of turned out better.After basic training i went to school for the job i would be doing in the army that was about 13 weeks we talked a little at the beginning but a lot towards the end.I ended up going back up to michigan after i got out of school for two weeks at the end of oct.I stayed at her house since me and her family are so close we even slept in the same bed had sex the first night i was there and she was still with her ex the one before me.After the first night we didnt have sex anymore we just slept in the same bed.After i left we still kept in touch every once in awhile we would talk but not too much since her boyfriend controlled her life.Just a couple of weeks ago she told me she is confused she wants to be with me again but isnt sure so we talk and talk about it but it always ends up being the same her sticking with her boyfriend.Her boyfriend is a loser who doesnt have a real job no license didnt even finish highschool or get a ged.hes always in trouble going to jail and he doesnt treat her the way she should be treated.She recently told me that she really didnt lose the baby she actually got the abortion which killed me.After all of this though im still in love with her and she tells me she loves me still,so i want to know if we should be together and if so how can i get her back? Advice
You are very vulnerable now to having a girlfriend.

That's because you are away from home--but you know that.

This woman is nothing but trouble. She has cheated and lied and tells you she loves you What can you do?

A good idea would be to tell her that you love her but the way things are you can't commit to her. So long as the ex is in the background that's the way it has to be. Her judgement is very bad to go with him and you should avoid people whose judgement is bad.

You've wasted enough time on her. It's time to move on. There are plenty of girls online to talk with if that's what you need. Or local women if you want to.

Sorry to be so negative, but that's my advice.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - I Want my Ex Back

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response

Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.