what should i do?Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and me broke up three weeks ago, we have been together one and a half years.She said she wanted to just date and have fun and not have a relationship so i stoped talking to her after after I asked her what all this was about.I said i still loved her and asked if she still wanted to be with me she said she just wanted to date.After three weeks went by she called me to lecture me about leaving home for periods of time and not tealling anybody saying so many people are worried about me.I said why should it matter to you you dont care and she said of course I do why else would I be calling and she went on telling me what I should do with my life.I know this was an excuse to call me because iv been to depresed to do anything lately.I was angery and didnt hold anything back about how I felt and she got sad and had to go after I told her how much I loved her and how much I cared.I called her the next day and we talked and eventually got on the subject about how we would raise or children and how fat she would make me with her cooking and what our chours would be in our house.We have talked everyday since and shes said things like lets start all over as friends first then see if we fall back in love.Then she said to give her six mounths before we startted dateing again.She has told me I mean more than a friend ever would and also that she sill cares.She says it hurts to much for us to say love to one another and its too hard for her to talk about our relationship.She has sent me texts that I cant read since my phones broke and we still care and help out with each outhers familys as well, we even have a date planed with us and her four year old brother that she has raised most of his life.She still tells me everting she even broke down and starting crying to me on the phone about how know one is ever happy with what she does in her family I said I cared and she said I know you do and youve allways been there and taken care of me.We talk everyday on the phone but I have got to see her in a about two weeks since shes been gone for family reasons.She tells me know that she is scared because shes never had a long term relationship that was perfect like ours was.She is affraid of bieng hurt even though she said she know I would never do anything to hurt her and said shes allways had commitment issues.I love her and care about her more than anything else but if she ever dates any other guy even when where not togher ill never talk to her again because if she truely lovd me than thered be no need for anyother guy.What im asking is does it look like she still loves me and wants to be with me now from what iv told you? Should I stay or Try and move on? Thank you for your time.
There are no "buts" in love. You can't say you love her more than anything and in the next breath say you will never talk to her again if she does something.
She has told you several times that she needs time away where she could date. You are forcing her into a corner and that rarely works. She will just want her freedom more.
With your attitude toward her, my advice is to move on. If you want to stay, then give her her space.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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