Third time's a charm?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I was dating a guy my senior year of high school. It was the first time either one of us had been in a serious relationship and we were both virgins. We were together a year and I broke it off with him putting all the blame of the breakup on him. After a three month break we agreed to give it another shot. We had both dated someone else during that time and we thought things would be different. Things were great for about three months and we had another arguement that ended it this time. Most of our arguements were over sex and fooling around. Being virgins, we were both too scared to have sex, even though we did love each other. It has been almost a year since we broke it off the second time and I can't help but think about him all the time. I have come to realize that all the things that he did were all the things that i want! I have come to realize that he wasn't the reason we broke up, it was me being unappreciative! He is currently dating someone, and I wouldn't dare say anything to him now that might endanger his new relationship. But I want to tell him how I feel and hopefully give it one last shot with my new found attitude. How do I tell him how I feel and do you think that us not having sex played a part in us not being happy together? He's everything that I'm looking for I just don't know how to tell him how I feel, and I'm afraid of what my family and his family would think of us trying this a third time. And, our paths don't cross too often, how do I casually bring my feelings up to him? Advice
You are really asking the impossible of yourself.

You want to tell him how you feel but do it casually. That's tough.

You don't want to endanger his new relationship. But, that's what you are thinking of doing.

So, what is there to do?

My advice is to email him and tell him simply how you feel. Including that you don't want to try to break him up from his girlfriend. Tell him that if he ever breaks up with her to please contact you.

Since most of your arguments were about sex, I would have to say that it had a part in your problems. Make it clear to him that you have changed your opinion on that subject.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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