I dont know what to do anymore.
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
First of all i would like to thank those of you who take time out of your crowded schedule and read about peoples problems like myself. Thank you.
Alright two days my girlfriend and i will hit our 7 months anniversary. Shes a senior in highschool and im a junior. So we've been going out for a little while. Lately we've been getting into fights just about every nite on the phone. I dont see her as much as i used to because she has this new internship for an architecture firm. She works with this other guy who's in his early 20's. She used to come home and talk about stuff that she did at work that involved him. I would tolerate it like it was no big deal because who am i to say that she cant be friends with other guys. That part doesnt bother me. But when she started talking about how he "jokingly" wanted to start hanging out with her "just as friends" i got pretty mad. She reassured me that he was just a friend and that he's has a girlfriend in which hes been going out with for around three years. She sees him for around 4 hours a day monday through friday. Basically she sees him more than she sees me. She also decided to work full time in summer at her architecture intership rather than with me at our job which we did last year. Granted shes gaining knowledge into her future career and she also gets paided more. So i accpeted that but then she talked about how she would also carpool with her cooworker in summer. This would obviously lead to them hanging out and spending time together. Idk what to do about that.
Another thing that bothers me is how shes going off to college next year and how she doesnt know if we'll be together. She claims that she just thinks realistically and that she wants to be with me and if things are going like they are she would have no reason to break up with me. The thing that bugs me the most is when she told me how she wanted to be single going into college. And that things are completely different in college. I told her that shes basically saying that shes going to dump me when shes go's to college and she denied that and said she wasnt going to cut our relationship off just because she wanted to be single in college. But she would just prefer it.
I also recentley got her to admit that she thrives on flirting with other guys. Her first our class is an architecture class at our high school, so its filled with guys who flirt with her. There are mainly three guys. One always "jokingly" (according to her) tells her how pretty she is and occassionally gives hers hugs. She isnt opposed to any of that obviously.
I really dont know what to think anymore i dont know if i want to stay in this relationship. When i seriously consider ending this conversation she comes back and makes me realize how much i love her and how good our realtionship is. I am in desperate need of some advice. I deeply appreciate your help and if you ever open a donation thing for this site please notify me. Thanks again.
You are paying the price for having an attractive girlfriend... other guys find her attractive too.
It would be surprising if she didn't enjoy the attention and from what you have said, she is being very honest and above board with you. Keep talking with her without getting into fights. Open communications is what will keep you together.
To get help with jealousy, go to these sites:
http://www.romanceclass.com/ebooks/jealousy_m.asp (an ebook for $9.99)
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com