Why is he mad and not talking to me when he said he wanted to be friends?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am so confused. I was in a relationship for 6 months with someone I knew since I was 16. He is a busy person and has alot on his plate. Was never an issue. But I just started getting vibes from him. We hadn't had sex in a month and a half. He would start telling me one thing and then doing the other. Not being considerate of my feelings. Being distant. Never had an issue with contacting me though. Or if I needed something he'd bend over backwards to get it for me. But I was no longer happy. I was always alone and hurting. I felt no matter how much he had going on he would make time for me. So I broke up with him on thanksgiving night over a text(not to mention the straw that broke the camels back is that the night before he said he was coming and didnt show again. then explains why he didnt show like i asked him and I didnt I just told him happy thanksgiving.Also I was not invited over to his familys house and he did not bother to come to mine). I had to because he had an issue coming over for some reason. Then the next day he responds and tells me that if that how I feel then cool, we need to talk bc he would love to remain good friends. That right now with all that he has going on time is limited and he does not want to hurt me. So I tell him what the issues were in the relationship and that it is worth working on. I ask him directly is it over or not. He would not answer.I asked him if he knew all this was going to be going on why would he be with me. He tells me he didnt think I was going to act like this. I'm like I don't know of any woman who is going to like being alone all the time and being disrespected or lied to, as well as a man being selfish as hell. So I was like whatever So I then tell him that he needs to bring the key to my apartment and my other things and we need to talk as well as arrange for him to get his things out of my apartment. He then replies and says ok. That once again like he told me earlier he does not want to hurt me but he has things that must be done. So I said ok well then I will give him what he wants.I get all his things together and put them in the living room and clear off his furniture to for him to take.The next day he texts to see what time I get off. I tell him and then he says cool he'll see me then. I get off and go home only to see that he'd been there and only got a few of his things not all. I was confused and upset because for one why didnt he get all of his things and then two he didnt even have the nerve to talk or face me. So I sent him a nasty text asking him why he wasn't man enough to face me, I called him a coward. I told him that I thought I knew him but I guess I didn't. And to have a nice life. I didn't expect him to even respond. Since he was ignoring me alot the day before when I was just trying to talk to him because he said he wanted to. Well, I was wrong he did. He responded to say "Whatever you say, I go by there and see all my stuff in the front, so what the hell???? I am at the game. hope you have a wonderful life!" I am trying to figure out why he is so upset that he saw that. He said he wanted to be friends. So me getting his things together in one spot should not have been an issue. Then two he will not talk to me. And three I do not know of any man that will leave his things that he spent his hard earned money on like that. The same way he took it out of storage is the same way he can take it back.He never brought mine, just left my key on his table. Alot of men tell me thats a way for him to get his foot back in the door. That he will be back. That he was calling my bluff and didnt think I was serious about leaving him. I am confused.. What is going on?? Why am I hurting when I left him? Why is he making it harder for me by leaving some of his things here and not bringing me mine? What's next?? I need some type of direction. I thought that he was going to come and get all of his things and talk and we would be on good terms. Just face that it was not for us and that we would remain the friends we were before he wanted me to be his girlfriend. This is to much!
He is jerking you around. Go and get your stuff and tell him that if he doesn't come and get his stuff then you are going to put it in the trash or give it away.
There is no reason for you to put up with him any more. Stop trying to figure him out and get this over with.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com