How can I get out of everything?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am with my boyfriend for more than 4 years together. We live in an appartment for 2 years. But before we moved in together, I first broke up with him. But after a few days he persuaded myself to try it again. So we came back together and so we also moved in together. For a very long time I am not attracted to him anymore despite his good looks. I don't even like it anymore to kiss him with tongue. I soemhow think it is disgusting. But our relationship is still very harmonic.
I am a student and due to my scholarship I am not allowed to work aka to earn some more extra money. He is employed already and very successful. So I depend on him. I have no friends here because we moved to his country. I don't even have friends in my own country anymore. So I have no one to talk about my problem(s).Even though I live in this country for like 2 years now. All I have is my small family whose financial situation gets worse and worse. And unfortunately they like my boyfriend.
All in one, I realised that I somehow don't love him anymore like I did in first place.
And there comes another big problem to it. I think I fell in love with another man. He feels the same way. He says he would be there for me whatever happens and I actually believe him. Yesterday we realised how much we are into each other, so we decided not to get in touch for a week, just to make sure, we really are in love. I know this man for like a month now. And we were in touch for like every day. If we didn't see each other we at least wrote each other mails.
I just don't know what to do. Every night I go to bed with a man I'm not in love anymore but on the other hand I would end up on the streets, alone , with nothing, if I break up with him.
I am sorry in case I wrote an 8-page novel. I just wanted you to really understand my problem.
Thank you in forward.
Your problem is certainly not an easy one.
You had been living without love for a long time and it is not surprising that you have found someone. You didn't mention whether this new person is married or financially secure. Why did you say you would be in the street with nothing (except your family)? Why can't you move in with this new person. The obvious reason is that he is without money or with wife. In either case, you need to think very hard about what you are doing. A month is not long enough to make a dramatic change in your life.
My advice is to stay with your boyfriend at least until you are out of school.
Ideally you would stop seeing this new guy, but you may not find that possible. Yet that is my advice, to stop seeing him.
This is difficult advice to give. My preference is to let love take the lead. But in this case, too little time has passed, you are harmonic with your boyfriend, and you would be out on the street if you leave him.
Good luck! George
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com