Missing her...too much?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been dating Her for 6 months now. We met while working in Wyoming. She moved to Pennsylvania to be with me. About a month went by, everything was good for the most part. She was offered a job in Amsterdam as a nanny. The job was sent to her by her EX.
He still writes her and expresses love. She has for the most part separated herself. They broke up over 2 years ago.
I'm deeply in love with her, but while she has been gone she has spoken with her EX quite a bit. Some was specifically about the job, but I feel he used the job to separate her and I. She knows his correspondence hurts me. I totally cut all ties with my LONG term Ex for her. She expressed that it hurt her, and I understood, and cut ties.
I've put LOTS into this relationship, but lately I feel like I'm getting little in return. She says she loves and misses me, but I'm having a very difficult time.
In addition she's my best friend, the one I talk to about everything. Now that she's gone, I find my stomach in knots day in day out.
I know better than to let it bother me, but it still continues. She returns in late December. I still have all over her belongings (car/clothes/personal effects).
Our conversations have been mainly based on her activities, I feel like I'm being needed talking about myself, because almost everything seems to revolve around her.
There is lots of background information, and I'm not sure what "answer" I'm looking for. How do I ask her what she wants, without causing turmoil that could easily be relieved upon her return? The last thing I want her to think is that I don't love her.
This may sound hokey but my first advice is that you should have a calendar with November and December on it. As each day passes cross it off with a big X. This will give you tangible proof that she is coming back and make you feel better.
Next, make sure you get to spend at least some time talking about yourself. Have a topic or two prepared that are high on your list of problems and discuss them with her.
Time should pass more quickly now. Thanksgiving is coming up and that will be a good distraction. Then end of classes and finals. By that time she will almost be home.
Nothing is going to make this really easy on you. But soon you will be holding her in your arms again.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com