I love my wife, but I'm attracted to other women
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
First let me state I am love and care for my wife more than any other person in the world. She was and still is not my ideal picture of beauty, but we connect on an emotional and spiritual level like no one else I've ever known. She seems to know me better than my own family. She knows more about me than any other person on this planet. She can read me like a book. I am truely madly deeply in love with her. If I knew sacrificing anything including my own life would mean she would be happy for the rest of hers I would glady do it.
My problem is I'm not physically attracted to her. In the bedroom, I'm always picture someone else in my mind when I'm with her. I see a woman I find sexy walk by an I finding my self wanting the other woman. I could care less what that other woman's intrests or care are all I'm looking for is physical gratificatiion. I've have cheated on my wife one time. It was with someone she never knew. Physically it was great, but emotionally it felt empty. I admitted it to her which was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I didn't and don't want to hurt her and I was so scared I would lose the one thing I cared about most. We talked about I told her if I felt I needed to do that again I would leave. Yet, I still find myself self looking at the cute waitress or the cute girl down at the bar, etc.. I feel completely lost. I haven't cheated on her since, but I still miss the physical satisfaction. I just don't want to keep hurting my wife.
My advice is to get a professional counselor to help you.
The counselor may have some suggestions that will make your wife physically attractive to you. But my guess is that you will be advised to make the best of what you have.
It isn't unusual for men (or women) to fantasize about others while making love to their partner. And, it isn't unusual for people to "check out" other people.
You seem to have a bad case of it and that's why my advice to see a counsellor.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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