My boyfriend is always lying

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend seems to lie a lot. I catch him in lies all the time. Not big lies, but innocent ones. It doesn't make sense, why he lies so much. Is there anything I can do to make him stop lying?

I have asked him why he lies so much but he never has a straight answer. Does this mean there is no future for us? Advice
You know I had to laugh when you said you asked him about his lying and he couldn't answer truthfully. Some people just learn in life that lying is easy and is a way to get out of anything. And really and truly, as much as you like this guy, that is a guy to stay FAR away from. A relationship is based on honesty and trust, and if you can't trust him about the LITTLE things, heaven help him when he actually gets into something more serious. There are so many things you need to trust a boyfriend about, never mind things like diseases and so on. If you can't trust him to be honest with you, there really isn't a relationship.

Really, you can't make him change. And he can't change "for you". Either he really and truly realizes, inside him, that this is a bad thing and works hard to fix it, or it won't work. That's not something you can ask him to do or tell him to do. That's something he has to want to do all on his own. If you try to pressure him into changing, he'll just lie to you and say he has. That's what he does.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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