She Is Very Insecure

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My current girlfriend is very insecure due to family problems. For example her brother is bi-polar and watches her get dressed in the morning while her parents do nothing about it. I also believe her brother (who is 4 years younger than her) may have also molested or sexually harrassed my girlfriend in some way to make her so insecure.
She trusts me alot, I'm just scared I may do something that puts her in a very uncomfortable situation.
Do you know of any actions I should avoid for victims of PHYSICAL abuse and possible sexual and/or mental abuse?

And perhaps actions I SHOULD do to gain her complete trust?

So far I'm just being me and being extremely kind and caring to her, just holding her hand and talking to her alot. No kissing or intimate moments right now because I dont know how it will make her feel.
Thanks for ANY help or advice! :) Advice
You are obviously a caring, loving person and you are doing the right things for your girl friend.

Find out (from the office) if your school has a school psychologist and if so how to make an appointment. Tell them you are asking for a friend. Once you find out how to make an appointment let your girl friend know about it and encourage her to see the psychologist.

Abuse you described is extremely damaging to a young person like her. You can't handle it by yourself because you aren't trained. You are already helping her by being a good boy friend. Next step is to help direct her to someone who is trained to help her.

If she refuses to go, talk to her more and determine exactly how bad her situation is. If she is being sexually abused then you have no choice but to report it to the psychologist or a school counselor. She could be damaged for life if it isn't stopped.

So, to repeat: if you have evidence of any abuse the encourage her to see the psychologist or counselor. If it is sexual abuse and she won't go then you have to go yourself and tell it for her.

If all of this is too much for you to handle, consider talking with your parents. They love you and want to help.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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