My Boyfriend is Cheating in Another Country
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I am 16 years old and so is my boyfriend. I love him so much, he is my life. But the problem is my boyfriend is away visiting foreign countries with his family for the ENTIRE summer. And while he was gone, I heard that he was seeing another girl in a country he was previously at this summer. And that he is going to have a long distance relationship with her.
Ordinarily, I would confront my boyfriend and ask him about it. But I cant do this for two reasons. One because, Ive obtained the information that he was cheating from his friend over Instant Messaging while pretending to be someone else, his friend told me that my boyfriend told him that. I do admit that I need to be more trusting on my boyfriend and I am trying to work on it. And Two, this summer I have had NO contact with him what so ever. Except for the 2 days he came back to visit me.
Now for the rest of the summer I will be upset, since I have no way of finding out the truth! I wish I could just talk to him about it, but I can't call him or email him. What do I do? Will I never find out the truth?
There are pretty much two possibilities here. One, that the friend who told you was lying to you, for whatever strange reason, and trying to get your boyfriend into trouble. You will have to be the judge of whether the friend is capable of that sort of lie.
But the other possibility is that your boyfriend is indeed taking the 'fun summer lover' route and is then planning on maintaining the other relationship. I have to say that really sounds far more likely than the 'spontaneously lying friend' theory. And if you confront your boyfriend with the information, the chance of him telling the truth is probably slim. This other girl is safely in another country, and he probably didn't leave any proof anywhere. So he can lie to you, have you in his local area, her loving him from afar, and have 'a girl in every port' as the story goes.
I'm not sure why you can't call him or write him. Is he really somewhere without phone or post offices?? Whenever my boyfriends went somewhere far away, they always had a phone and a post office! You guys can't even send each other love letters? That sounds awfully bizarre to me. It sounds like he's hiding his 'europe life' from you so he can do whatever he wants to when he's out there. Heck, when I was vacationing away from a boyfriend one year I sent him postcards each day from whereever I was and he would have letters waiting for me at the next house or whatever I knew I was going to be with. To just cut you off for the whole summer because he's "busy" is really strange.
As far as you pretending to be someone else to get the informaton - confess up. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just tell him what you did, that you found it out. I really expect him just to lie to you and say it's not true. Is there nobody in his family you can trust to ask what is going on? Or even ask the girl, if you want to press it. But I really have to believe that he's at least planning on cheating on you, if not actually doing it.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com