What do I do if Im not physically attracted anymore ?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been with my g/f for a year now...We used to have sex all the time. I have always been attracted to her intellect, character and personality..About 4 months ago, she started putting on weight and now shes prob about 25 to 30 lbs heavier..I dont recognize her anymore and I have lost attraction to her..She is a very sexual person and so am I but I cannot get turned on by her..
I have expressed to her in the nicest way how I am concerned about her weight for health reasons and that I dont recognize her anymore. I have told her the results of this have pushe me back a little, but its more than that. I have problems kissing her, hugging her and dont ever think about sex with her..I do however spoon her at night when we sleep,I really do care about her alot...I know if she were to turn herself around and develop a healthy attitude that I could get into her again..But I am unable to do so right now, and I am looking at other women all the time..
How big of a problem is this ? SHE LIVES WITH ME ,so she is around looking for affection around the clock. What do you recommend I do ? If I tell her she doesnt do it for me, I know she is going to cry like crazy..
You won't be able to avoid telling her the truth.
She has probably put on the weight by eating as a different way to make herself feel loved physically. This is a vicious cycle because the more weight she puts on, the less you will be able to recognize her.
My advice is to tell her the truth and tell her you want to go to a counselor with her. This is the nicest thing you can do for her. You can't force yourself to feel attracted to her if you don't. A counselor may be able to help both of you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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