Married woman with a guy friend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Ok...this is a rather complicated situation and question:
I am 25 years old and married for 3 years with a 2 year old child. Recently, I met and started hanging out with a guy who I've grown to enjoy and respect. I'm trying really hard to keep our friendship strictly platonic. It seems like he flirts with me though. He'll hold eye contact with me and smile coyly. He'll wink at me. He's told me that he wants me to leave my kid somewhere so he can hang out with me. He's taken me out to lunch, and conversed with me on a personal level.
Now's the weird and rather complicated part: he told me he thinks he might be gay. But that he is probably bisexual because he'll take it either way. BUT HE'S A VIRGIN (he's 20 years old). I don't think he really knows, and I can't help him with that decision. But I wondered what the heck his flirting and stuff meant if he really is gay.
I don't ever want to take our relationship to a sexual level, and I don't necessarily mind us having a sexual undercurrent in our friendship - but I don't know if that's the case.
He calls me sometimes, but then won't return my calls or texts for an entire day. He invited himself to my house to hang out on the beach, then cancelled citing "he had to take care of his grandmother" ... and never called me back. He claims he hates children, but he loves my son and he plays with him very well (and my son loves him). I have no idea how to handle this situation. I very much value him as a friend, and I want to keep that above all else. But I enjoy flirting with him also. I just don't know how to read his actions. Does he like me, and that's why he's acting so weird? Or is he gay and confused with his relationship with me? Or am I turning him off/away because I'm married and he figures he has no chance? WHAT????!!!! HELP! Advice
He sounds bi-sexual to me and that's why he flirts and wants to hang out with you.

He probably has ambivalent feelings about you. Attracted by all the good things but worried about the down side.

Be sure he understands you want to be a very close friend and that you enjoy flirting with a sexual undertone but that you are not going to have a sexual relationship with him. This may turn him off because he probably has fantasies about you. So you risk losing his friendship.

Another option is to just let things ride and see what happens.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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